On this first day of April 2025, we at Maestro would like to offer you a list of fresh, bold, and bravely senseless best practices you can integrate into your careers as successful sales professionals.
- When faced with an objection, the correct answer is, “You know nothing, Jon Snow.”
- Skip introductions on discovery calls. Give your prospect the gift of suspense. Let them figure out why, how, and whether you are qualified—and also which company you work for—by reading between the lines of your aggressive and meandering pitch.
- Features – Benefits – Values. They’re like a joke: if you have to explain them, they’re not funny.
- Trash your competition. It’s fun, it’s cathartic, and it always works. Some choice approaches here are: “Where did they get their software solutions? At the toilet store?” and “They’re what the French call ‘Les Incompetents.’”
- Increase risk. YOLO. The exhilaration of having no idea what your potential client’s pain points are is second only to the thrill of a 10-day cruise in 2020.
- Listen passively. Sit back, relax, mute yourself, and enjoy some heavy metal. Let your prospect yammer on about what they’re looking for in a service provider. They’ll tire themselves out eventually, after which you can come off mute and say, “Sounds like you’re doomed.”
- Begin each cold email with a deep dive into how you hope your email finds a person who has never met you. It’s inappropriate to give the recipient of your unsolicited email a chance to understand why you are in their inbox before they review a comprehensive digest of small talk.
- Whenever possible, say, “Does that make sense?” In doing so, you will, without a doubt, uncover the truth about whether everything you just said makes sense. It’s kind of like when your college physics professor ran through the Boltzmann Principal under his breath and then asked, “Everybody’s clear on this, right?”
- Ask that all referrals be presented in song form. It’s like a singing telegram with the extra perk of alienating past clients.
- Yes/no questions are the bomb. Get in, get out, get called into your direct supervisor’s office…FOR BEING AWESOME!
If you’re interested in learning some real best practices, reach out to us at mastery@maestrogroup.co.
