How Not to Make a Mess of Networking

This is the first installment of a four-part series on how to network better and bigger.

August 24, 2022

By Adam Rosa

You’re at your favorite restaurant. You just ordered a chicken sandwich with tater tots on the side because it’s a fancy kind of place. You are mid-bite when you see her, the CEO of that company. The one you’ve been trying to close a deal with for six months.

You wipe your face with your hand, run up to her, and reach out that hand, ketchup still visible on your fingers. “Hi, nice to meet you,” you say, chicken specks flying out of your mouth, your words jumbled, your face greasy.

She looks at you, remembers you emailed her last week, and makes a mental note to block you and never associate with any company that would hire you. You walk back to your half-eaten sandwich in shame—you forgot how to network.

For some of us, it’s not that extreme. We are limited to thoughts like, “Am I swinging my arms too much? Am I smiling? How often do normal people smile?” Even experienced socialites need some networking touch-ups.

Over the last two years, there has been almost no networking, and for good reason. Imagine a video call of 200 people trying to meet as many people as possible in an hour. Sounds fun….

With limited socialization during the pandemic, there are many people who never learned or simply forgot the necessities and basics of networking. Maestro decided to help you all out by creating a four-part series on networking for the newbies and vets alike. You’re welcome.

In the first part of the series, we are going to focus on external networking. If you don’t know what that is, this series is a must for you. If you do, it’s still a must, but you get bonus points. Five points for Ravenclaw (if you’re here I’m assuming you’re in the smart house. I am a Gryffindor, but that’s another blog).

WHAT IS EXTERNAL NETWORKING?

External networking is networking outside your company. Next week we will discuss internal networking, within your company, but one thing at a time people. The reason to network externally is pretty straightforward. Connections in the business world are valuable.

Connections can lead to new deals, future job opportunities, growth for your business, meeting someone who knows someone who knows someone who just might be able to launch your career to new heights so that you can retire and buy the fancy tater tot place you like. To do all that and more, however, you need to make sure you’re not shaking hands with ketchup on your wrist.

HOW TO NETWORK FOR SMARTIES

The big question with networking is the how. How do you get someone to want to connect with you in a short span of time for a long-term connection? The answer is to try less. Yes, the best tip on how to network is do less.

Not less work, you still need to plan and grind, but when you are in the act of networking, don’t try so hard. The version of you that people like best is the real you. If you are awkward, be awkward. If you’re loud, be loud. If you’re nerdy, be nerdy. If you’re awkward, loud, and nerdy, we should hang out sometime. Add me on LinkedIn.

When people are meeting you, the thing they will care most about is, “Did this person seem genuine or were they just trying to get something from me?” Be yourself and more people will be open to future conversations, and that’s what networking is all about.

The next important thing to do is create a plan. The first step of the plan? Write down, actually write down, who you want to network with. If you have specific people or companies in mind, write them down. If you have a target audience, general titles are okay too—sales associates, salespeople in tech, finance writers, CEOs of sales training companies (Hi, Will), etc. Go grab paper and make the list, people!

Step two is to write things that you want to learn about them, questions to ask them, or things you looked up about them that may serve as conversation starters. Keep them simple and write them right next to each person where you can study and remember them. Question X for sales associates, conversation starter Y for people in tech.

This is the key to networking well—having small facts you can look up before meeting someone or powerful questions geared toward them to pique their interest. These questions and facts are the difference between winging it and preparing properly to expand your network. I promise this extra step is the difference between a small pool of friends and a giant ocean of connections.

On top of having your introductory material set, having a way to connect beyond the greeting is key. The world has changed since times of old (back in 2019). When you network now, you want to be ahead of the times, not behind. Asking for emails, sending requests on LinkedIn (it’s social media FOR networking, use it!), and asking to be in contact soon are all classics and great ways to network.

If you want to be modern, there are new ways to give and get contact information, and they can add some memorability to you as well. Ovou cards are digital versions of business cards. They allow you to have all your contact information in a single space that anyone can download to their phone as long as it has a camera. Digital business cards are still relatively new, so there is the added novelty factor. What better way to get someone to keep your info than to make it interesting?

WHERE, OH WHERE, ARE MY NEW NETWORKING FRIENDS?

So, you have who you want to meet, you wrote down a few things to ask or mention to them, you got a fancy online business card, and you know to be yourself. You’re ready to meet the CEO of Salesforce—but how to make them magically appear for your evil purposes? The answer is luck and strategy.

The best connections happen organically, but getting yourself in the right settings is important. Conferences (we will discuss networking at them in length in our third installment), job fairs, even shared office spaces can be suitable places to meet other remote workers and build up a network. Each of these environments allows you to meet people outside your company, and typically they are full of other people looking to grow their networks as well. Doing research on a person/company and trying to find out where they might be is another thing to do that ensures you give yourself the most opportunities to network.

Great connections can also come in unexpected places. A bar, your kid’s soccer game, running into someone in a restaurant. If it happens naturally, recognize it and let it happen naturally. “Oh, it’s great to see you. Why don’t I take down your number so we can talk later?”

The thing is, not every person is always in networking mode everywhere. A big mistake of networking is over networking. People are people, so let them be people. If someone is enjoying dinner with family or in the middle of a meeting, do not see that as a chance to interrupt and get your name in there. It will only ruin their interactions and leave you as the person who does not have boundaries.

Instead, read situations. Know when it’s appropriate to say, hello, let’s connect later (outside professional settings). Know when it’s appropriate to chat and take time if they have it (conferences, job fairs, shared workspaces). And know when it’s best to bide your time and wait (not when their family is singing happy birthday at Applebee’s).

TO DO OR NOT TO DO, THAT IS THE QUESTION

Now you know what external networking is. You know the two most important things to plan (who and how), you know how to have your information handy (business cards or asking for their information), and you know where to network (most places). You are feeling ready to meet that CEO at a job fair, and your hands are free of ketchup.

The last thing you need are some quick dos and don’ts to remember for these opportunities. Then your recipe is complete, everything is ready for the oven, networks are ready to be made.

Dos (Do’s is wrong even though it looks right):

  • Remember a detail this person mentions. Include it later when you follow up with an email or call or LinkedIn connection.
  • Be memorable. Stun them with your research, ask an extremely engaging question, wear a nice pink shirt. Just don’t be memorable because you were the person who kept telling everyone to connect with you or else.
  • Be genuine. Be yourself, whatever that might be. People remember the people who were the fakest and those who were the most genuine when deciding who they do and don’t want to connect with. Fall on the right side of the spectrum.
  • Build relationships, not just connections. People want to be treated like people. Don’t make them feel like a statistic, and they will be willing to chat and interact later.
  • Send small gifts, even if it’s sending an article about something they mentioned they enjoyed. When you give, you set up to get. You don’t want to connect and immediately ask them to see if there are openings at their company. Build up your store of asks.

Do nots (Again do not’s is wrong but looks so right):

  • Bombard people. Let people breathe. If someone just stopped talking to someone you want to chat with, give them a second to recuperate. If you don’t, they will rush your chat to get that time.
  • Be pushy. People want to connect like you want to connect, but they want to do it on their own time in their own way. If you force someone to exchange information or rush to the point, they are likely to start thinking of ways to avoid you rather than interact genuinely.
  • Keep reaching out. When you meet someone, follow up. Include something personalized to them. But if they do not respond in a few days, do not send thirty follow ups. They will block you and tell others to guard their information from you.
  • Ignore people who you think are not worth your time. If someone comes up to you at work or a conference or job fair, just because they are not your ideal connection does not mean it’s okay to brush them aside rudely. 1) They are still people. 2) You never know who they may talk to later, and you don’t want them citing you as “that mean person” to someone you are interested in connecting with.
  • Be a robot. If you simply have a pitch and deliver it then rush to get contact info, most people will be put off. Connections are built on trust, show you’re a person and let them grow.

It’s important to network, and extremely important to network outside your organization. It leads to new opportunities for you whether it be boosting your sales, setting the foundation for new positions, or simply growing your professional network to position you as an industry leader. Whatever you are networking for, knowing these few beginning steps to networking is key. Plan early, network genuinely, and keep in touch to build your network as best you can.

Tune in next week for the equally important and altogether opposite style of networking, doing it inside your own company. It just may be the difference between a job secured and a job search.

Expand your network to include Maestro! Connect with us at mastery@maestrogroup.co.