Always Communicating: What Our Body Language Tells Others

This is the first installment in a five-part series about communication.

June 01, 2022

By Rachel Smith

The last time I went home to visit my parents, my mother, a huge politophile, was lamenting the fact that presidents didn’t write letters anymore. “It’s so interesting to read these long, thoughtful messages they sent to their friends and peers and really learn what and how they were thinking about things. Today we have no record of what our presidents are thinking.”

It was at this point that I mustered all my self-control and did not sarcastically respond, “Right, because it’s not like every memo, email, tweet, text, appearance, and speech is being recorded and saved in perpetuity. How will future generations know anything?!”

She is right, though, that the way we as humans communicate has changed. For thousands of years, it was words on paper. Only in the last 150 years or so has that changed, and that change has been rapid and drastic—telegraph, telephone, radio, TV, pagers, email, smartphones, text, Zoom.

Communication has evolved. We, as humans, however, have not. The brain that interpreted symbols on cave walls is the same one that interpreted Egyptian hieroglyphs is the same one interpreting emojis and LOLs. We are cavemen with smartphones. And sometimes it’s useful to step back and analyze how we’re communicating our thoughts and feelings, sometimes without even being aware of it.

This month in our Maestro Mastery blogs, we’ll be focusing on communication—all kinds of communication. Why? Because it’s critical as a sales professional to know what your body language is telegraphing to your prospect. Because email might not be an ideal method in which our caveman selves communicate. And because, my god, how else are we going to understand what our presidents were thinking?

BODY LANGUAGE

Gesture-based communication evolved prior to spoken language, and so our brains are hard-wired to pay attention to it. Observing and reacting appropriately to another’s body language was critical to survival. While it is no longer as critical to our survival, it is still something we constantly use to judge others and which others use to judge us. 

The interpretation of the human body and the emotions it relates is important enough that two areas of the brain are dedicated to it—the extrastriate body area and the face-selective fusiform body area. As the name suggests, the latter deals specifically with the face. It’s this sensitive area of the brain that is responsible for us seeing faces where there are none. 

Both exhibiting and interpreting body language are instinctual activities. Blind individuals use gestures as well as facial expressions while they speak, even though they have not visually observed them in others. I had to say “visually observe” because it turns out that you can hear body language.

Studies show that your body language resonates in your voice. The pitch and volume of your voice change with the movement of your arms and hands. This is due to the vibrations caused by the movement ending up in your lungs, as well as the changes in muscle pressure around your lungs as your body works to maintain balance while moving. Individuals can hear not only that a speaker is moving their body, but specifically what movements are being made.

Our brains can pick up on body language amazingly fast. If you are told that you are about to see an image of a happy person and are instead shown a sad individual, your brain picks up on the incongruency in 300 milliseconds.

PARTS OF THE BODY (LANGUAGE)

It can be useful to divide body language into different categories—not for any scientific reason, but rather to create an easier way of thinking about it and how you can change yours.

Eyes and Face
As we mentioned, there’s an area of the brain dedicated specifically to processing the eyes and face of others. This region is not easily fooled, either. Don’t think that by pasting on a fake smile you’re convincing anyone that you’re authentically happy or friendly. What should you be doing with your eyes and face?

  • Smile, but it must be a genuine smile, also called a Duchenne smile. This smile even impacts your eyes, so it can even be recognized with a mask on.
  • Make eye contact about 60%–70% of the time. Periods of eye contact should last between three and five seconds.
  • Nod your head to show you’re listening.
  • Drink. Okay, not really. But kind of. Studies suggest that alcohol increases the occurrence of Duchenne smiles.

Breathing
Yes, even your breathing impacts your body language. This can be a more difficult thing to control, so practice is key. Breathing stimulates the vagus nerve which keeps you out of “fight or flight” mode, enhances your ability to listen, and even improves your ability to make emotional facial expressions.

  • Practice relaxation breathing prior to and during social interactions.
  • Breathe through your nose. You get more oxygen this way.

Body Posture
The way you are standing or sitting says a lot about you. Even when you’re doing nothing, you are communicating.

  • Stand up straight.
  • Keep your body posture open (no folded arms).
  • Lean forward to show interest.
  • Keep an ideal distance of about three feet. (You know, when there’s not a pandemic going on.)

Gesturing
Do you know what the most popular TED Talks have in common? Gesturing. Gesturing can help you communicate your point and show enthusiasm. It’s a natural component of communication and has been shown to make people more interested in what you’re saying.

  • Use gestures that match your words.
  • Don’t be overly intense with your gesturing.

HOW BODY LANGUAGE HELPS YOU

Once you know what your body language is communicating to others, you can use it to your advantage in so many ways.

Benefits of Synchrony
Scientists have been studying how our body language impacts how we learn, how we teach, and how we solve problems. One study found that when subjects were paired up and asked to come up with creative, problem-solving ideas, the pairs who were more in sync with their body language came up with more ideas. Imagine being paired based on synchronicity with someone you work with to have better collaborative outcomes. 

Gestures for Learning
It turns out that gestures don’t only help others learn from you; they help you learn as well. They have been found to aid in language acquisition.  When learners paired new vocabulary with related gestures, engaging the motor regions of their brains, their recall improved. Gesturing has also been found to make you a better speaker. Researchers think that it helps “lighten the cognitive load” when processing and speaking about complex ideas.

Nicer People with Better Products
When we smile a genuine smile, people are more willing to trust us. When we nod, others see us as more likable and approachable. When we smile and nod? We create a sort of emotional contagion wherein we spread feelings of warmth and friendliness. Nodding and smiling is a powerful combination.

Positive facial expressions don’t just make you seem nicer—they make whatever product or service you’re selling seem nicer, too. The perceived quality of a service is higher when it’s presented by a smiling face.

Finally, when you smile, you tend to judge other people’s facial expressions more positively. Smile and the whole world smiles with you, or at least that’s how it will seem to you. 

Before you open your mouth to speak, you have already begun communicating with others through your body language. Gestures, smiles, posture, even breathing play a role in how others view us. So, when you’re in person with others or on your next Zoom meeting, pay attention to what your body is projecting. If you’re getting a cool reception, it might be your face.

Ready to work on your sales communication skills? Get in touch with us at mastery@maestrogroup.co.